Rest in Peace, Grandpa

On Friday, November 26, 2010, Richard "Dick" Buehler, Sherry's Grandpa, passed on to his eternity with Jesus.

I met him soon after I began dating Sherry, my bride. And, over 23 years later, I've learned a lot from him. Here are just a few observations:

Grandpa loved. This was not the emotional, sappy, temporary kind of love that our common culture seems to advocate. In his generation, love was a "many splendored thing". In mine, it was a battlefield. But, the love I'm describing is God's love, the love Christ commanded us to have toward one another (John 13:34-35). This love was the one Jesus described as none greater (that a man would lay down his own life for another - John 15:13). A love that was patient, kind - not rude, envious, boastful, or proud. This love delighted in the truth, not evil, keeping no record of wrongs. This kind of love always trusts, hopes, perseveres, and protects. This love never fails.

He demonstrated that love for his wife, Gwen, who died some 8 years before he did. I never saw them disregard or disrespect one another but honestly desire to be with each other - even after over 60 years of marriage. Then, in his last days, when asked what he needed, he'd reply, "I need Gwen." This, for a married man, is the first place to purposefully and actively act on Jesus' command to love. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church, laying His life down for her (Ephesians 5:22-33). I have no doubt that Grandpa would gladly put himself in harm's way to protect his bride - not only physically, but incrementally, as he placed her needs above his own.

This love continued with family and friends as he demonstrated love through generosity. Although he was generous financially, that isn't the generosity I'm describing here. Grandpa was generous with his time. Although he was known as a story teller, he was also a story listener. When he asked a question, he waited for an answer. He didn't seem to me to be one who made small talk. He wanted to know my opinion as he was willing to share his. And, although there were times when we disagreed, we still kept talking and listening to one another.

Many at the funeral could have shared their own stories about how he listened to them after delivering petroleum products when he owned a Phillips 66 distributorship in NW Indiana, or at the corner diner, or at one of his gas stations. He cared about people and he also accomplished much - a rare combination these days.

Other attributes I observed in Grandpa were Integrity and Honor. Grandpa's words matched his actions. And, I had no doubt believing that the Grandpa I knew (and observed) was the same Grandpa when no one was watching. This led to his reputation in the business community as a stand-up kind of guy that people trusted to do business right. With regard to Honor, Grandpa was unafraid of speaking what needed to be said and standing up for what was right. These attributes of Christ which he demonstrated are sadly lacking in the world today and - all too often - in the church.

So, as I spoke at Grandpa's funeral, I'm reminded that these are the times when our hearts are tender to the Lord's leading regarding change in our own lives. Looking at the love, integrity, and honor Grandpa demonstrated should lead us to follow his lead, seeking to follow in the footsteps of his example - loving our spouses, family, and friends with the love that Christ commands us to demonstrate towards them in actions as well as words. We should seek to ensure our words match our actions and that our actions are taken for what we believe to be right - not in compromise but in the sometimes difficult role of moral leadership.

Grandpa, who had a quiet humble faith, is now with Jesus...and his Gwen.

Rest in peace, Grandpa. See you on the other side....